


Mac's Mom Dies

by ElderPrice



Category: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Genre: Angst, Bad Parents, Character Death, The Author Has Issues, minor time jumps, sort of comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-03
Updated: 2019-08-03
Packaged: 2020-07-30 05:07:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20091745
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElderPrice/pseuds/ElderPrice
Summary: What are you supposed to do when your mom dies but it's not sad.





	Mac's Mom Dies

Mac never prepared for something like this. A plain day in the bar, and looking back he still finds the normality strange. This, should never be normal. He picks up his phone in the middle of a conversation as Dennis and Dee- or Dennis and Charlie, someone- talking (arguing) about something is all he can remember. A firm, clinical voice is on the other end and asks a few things.

Is this Ronald McDonald? Son of- wow, Mac hadn’t heard his mom’s name in forever. That thought is cut through.

“I’m sorry, she passed away this morning. We’ll need you to come in and make some arrangements.”

And Mac stays quiet. Until he becomes conscious of how quiet he’s being. 

“A-Alright, I’ll be down soon,” It’s hard to speak with the glass that’s grown in his throat. The glass grows, he’s quiet again, until the person on the other end hangs up.

He looks at his phone, unaware of the conversation happening. “My mom’s dead” slips out, and it stops. 

He looks to Charlie, who’s cooled off from the conversation and raised his eyebrows.

Charlie’s quiet too, “you alright, man?”

“I guess, I’ve gotta go down to the funeral home to make some arrangements or whatever.” Mac takes a sip of his beer.

Mac’s 9 again. It’s after school and he’s dragging a backpack a little too big for him into the visiting room of the philadelphia prison.

The seat’s too big and his legs dangle off of it, he wishes Charlie were here, but Charlie gets scared of Mac’s dad. Mac knows his dad isn’t bad, he’s so nice when Mac gets to talk to him. He waits, and waits to talk to his dad.

Mac’s 43 again. He grew into the chair, and Charlie’s still scared of Mac’s dad. He’s not going to bring up his coming out, this is about mom. No matter what. His dad was probably just busy, or he had to pee or something. 

Yeah.

Luther still intimidates Mac. Luther is always what he pictured Zeus to look like, powerful and the be-all-end-all.  
Mac stumbles through talking about his mother’s death and the funeral. Luther gives a cool, “I can’t make it.”, he stands up and walks out of sight.

Why isn’t anyone else ever in this room. Why is it so cold, so quiet.

Mac opens his mouth, but the words never made it to his throat. How could he tell his dad he loves him anymore after this. There’s nothing left except a hole, it keeps getting bigger and tearing itself open more and more.

Charlie and Bonnie are early to the funeral. Bonnie takes Mac into her arms, weeping. Between the tears she says how hard it is to lose a mother, like Dennis did last night through a bottle of red wine over Godzilla. Bonnie’s hugging Mac so tight it’s like he’s lost circulation. He can’t remember the last time he’s been hugged, and he feels a wave crash against the back of his eyes.

He sees Charlie, standing behind them. Eyes drooping, his mom must have been like this all week. Mac mouths an “I’m sorry”, Charlie just shakes his head. Bonnie lets go, eventually. Frank, Dee, and Dennis edge into the church and Frank catches Bonnie as she continues crying. 

Mac and Charlie stand in the projection of the stained glass.

“You look tired.” Mac says weakly, and Charlie lets out the mix between a chuckle and a sigh.  
“Are you kidding me? You look dead.” The priest takes his place besides the casket, Mac says something under his breath as he takes a seat.

The priest talks, he talks forever. Mac’s the only one in the front row, he looks down and wishes his dad came after all.

The priest talks forever, about God, about heaven. A deadly thought creeps into Mac’s mind, where did his mother truly end up? He doesn’t answer himself. He looks at a stained piece of notebook paper in his hand, wrinkled so much it feels soft. Mac looks from the paper, to his shoes, to the colors from the stained glass on the floor until he’s asked to speak.

It’s just 5 people in the rows upon rows of pews. Dennis and Dee are bickering, Frank and Bonnie are getting too weird but it’s not gross enough to yell and them, and Charlie’s looking at Mac. Bleary eyed.

Mac looks at the paper with a blank stare, hands shaking and waves crashing in his head. It’s like finding balance in a storm.

“My mom-” He begins, slowly. It’s too loud, his thoughts, Dennis, Dee, Frank, Bonnie. Was this all his mother’s life lead up to? He wasn’t even with her when she died and Mac wonders if he should even feel bad for that. He lays his arms on the pulpit and puts his head there, sobbing. The room’s quiet, instantly. And all he can do is let the tears come down.

“Mac? C’mon man, it’s gonna be ok,” Charlie comes up and rubs Mac’s arm. Mac lifts his head up, wiping away a tear. Charlie holds Mac’s arm.

“Are you alright?” He asks, and Mac nods. The glass crawls through his throat and his head aches.

“Yeah, yeah, just let me do this.” Charlie nods back, but doesn’t leave. 

Mac looks down at the paper, then up at the 4 people in the pews. He doesn’t register their expressions, and looks to the casket.

“My mom… never cared about me.” He started, unable to finish. “I don’t know if she didn’t want kids, or couldn’t relate to me, but I never could reach through to her. I tried, I wanted to be perfect. She couldn’t ignore me then, could she? I don’t know, she never stopped ignoring me. I never heard her say ‘I love you’, to anyone, really.” Mac lost his meaning, his mother wasn’t going to come back and give him a hug. So, he touched the head of the casket, mumbled “I love you” and walked away. Arm and arm with Charlie.

This time, Mac didn’t have to make up why he didn’t hear an “I love you too.”


End file.
